The funniest science is bullshit science

xkcd: Dilution

xkcd: Dilution.

Roughly 8 percent of your DNA isn’t really human. (How’s that for a morning wake-up call?) Instead, it’s the de-activated remnants of ancient retroviruses. All viruses hijack host cell machinery to replicate themselves, but retroviruses are a little more invasive than most. These viruses trick cells into turning viral RNA into DNA—the reverse of the normal DNA to RNA transcription process—and then snuggle that DNA right into the rest of the host’s genome. They mutate frequently and, sometimes, accidentally deactivate themselves—in which case the “dead” viral DNA just ends up hanging out in the human genome.

Resurrecting ancient viruses – Boing Boing

Science is fucking cool. Keep your jebus and your arks and unicorns, reality is pretty damned interesting.

Oooooohh, SUCK IT, creationists!

Scientists are about to create life from non-living matter. How can anybody still believe in creationism?

“We’ve made more progress on how the membrane of a protocell could grow and divide,” Szostak said in a phone interview. “What we can do now is copy a limited set of simple [genetic] sequences, but we need to be able to copy arbitrary sequences so that sequences could evolve that do something useful.”

By doing “something useful” for the cell, these genes would launch the new form of life down the Darwinian evolutionary path similar to the one that our oldest living ancestors must have traveled. Though where selective pressure will lead the new form of life is impossible to know.

Forgive me (or don’t – fuck you) for sounding like a sore winner here, and I’m obviously being a bit premature, but the fact is the abiogenesis of life has been a feather in the cap of the ignorant for too long. It’s nice to see that the rationalists may soon be plucking that one for themselves.

And Fuck You Very Much, Louisianna

Do you fuckers want to know why the civilized world makes fun of the South? Well here ya’ll go!

The text of the LSEA suggests that it’s intended to foster critical thinking, calling on the state Board of Education to “assist teachers, principals, and other school administrators to create and foster an environment within public elementary and secondary schools that promotes critical thinking skills, logical analysis, and open and objective discussion of scientific theories.” Unfortunately, it’s remarkably selective in its suggestion of topics that need critical thinking, as it cites scientific subjects “including, but not limited to, evolution, the origins of life, global warming, and human cloning.”

There is no debate within the scientific community, nor any other realm in which relatives refrain from procreation with one another, on any of these topics.

We should have let the South secede back in 1860.*

*Slavery would have eventually crumbled under the weight of economic concerns.

Real Time Evolution?

This could help evolution drop its “theory” status and move on up to a law.  Scientists have observed the development of a new trait after approximately 44,000 generations of e. coli in the lab.  Twelve populations, but only one of them exibited the ability to metabolise citrate, a compound in their nutrient solution.  A compound that e. coli normally cannot use.  Maybe the imaginary man did it.

Hey, Ben Stein. Fuck you, buddy.

Ben Stein has decided that science makes people kill each other.  (You can watch the video here.  It’s April 21, 2008.)  In his quest to become the Biggest Douchebag in the Universe, Mr. Stein has opted for that most blood-chilling of douchebag strategies:  linking the thing he dislikes to Nazi Germany.  Let’s leave aside the fact that all the scientists featured in his new film have also denounced his production company’s tactics in obtaining their interview footage.  And that all the reviews say it’s a horribly produced piece of propaganda rife with factual errors.  Any time a Jew gets denounced by the ADL, you have to question how rational his arguments could possible be.

Let’s go over a few points here.  Hitler was a Catholic.  Most of the Nazis were Catholics or Lutherans.  The Holocaust was not the first anti-Jewish pogrom, not even in Europe.  The Germans have been historically noted for their efficiency.  The simple fact is that they used their effieiency and attention to detail in the most monstrous, evil way they could have possibly employed such attributes.  Additionally, Hitler never attributed any of his concepts to Darwin or any other scientist, he did link them to his religious ideals however.  The only people who have ever linked Darwin to their mistreatment of human beings are economists and capitalists.  I’m sure Mr. Stein wouldn’t want to be linked to such disreputal groups.

So if Mr. Stein hates science so much, does this mean that he will be forgoeing the products of science, such as airplane travel, television, computers, modern medicine, tap water, recorded music, and air conditioning?  I’d certainly like to see him forsake motion pictures.

Please let this be a joke.

I’d hate to believe that any members of my own species could actually be so breathtakingly stupid. If it’s a joke, it’s a damn funny one, as long as it’s a joke. Otherwise, these guys are trolling for a Darwin Award.

I’m a tool user!

That’s right, evolution isn’t just something in the past. It’s here and now. Which way do we want to steer our descendants? Cool spaceships and brains measured in cubic meters, or underground cannibal troll-people? Maybe those aren’t the only choices, but maybe making the funny will keep me from getting eaten by the troll overlords.

I’m also very high in cholesterol. Oh crap, they don’t know what that means!