The American Nightmare

McDonald’s Arching Over I-44 in Vinita, Oklahoma

I have been there on the way back from a concert in Tulsa.  Truly disturbing place.  The American Nightmare come to “life”.

For this, I would switch to contacts

This is just too stupid

Is this really what humans are coming to?

Those buying Booty Sweat in major cities will get treated to a description of it as a “delicious and bump up struttin’ energy drink that will pump up a brotha’s ass right-pronto. This swill will crank yo’ metabolism up skippin’ right over jiggy to straight G-pimp level, word to your mutha. Brothas will be layin’ down the 2-3 on the wiggy jig focusing the energy flow into cold-face benjamins that will fill yo’ pimp pockets to burstin’. Damn straight! Booty Sweat will keep a brotha pitchin’ straight game all night to the baby-dolls.”

As if it’s not bad enough that some of the more ill-educated among us speak this way (or ape those that do), now it’s going to be glamorized yet-again by the church of capitalism. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with our species? Have we all just lost our damn minds?

Lard lad-o-matic

Okay, really, is this what we’ve come to? A fucking automatic doughnut machine!?!? Sweet greasy jesus!

Look. I’m overweight, but let’s set some fucking limits, people. If you are seriously considering dropping $130 on this travesty, maybe you should consider using that money on a gym membership instead. Or use it to buy a gun and kill yourself. It’ll be quicker and the aftermath will still be easier to look at than your lardy, gelatinous corpse.

Oh yeah, that’s good parenting.  I love that there’s a box of Crystal Light right behind it.