Home > Uncategorized > Go fuck a bike.

Go fuck a bike.

Okay, so a guy in a Scottish hostel gets caught wearing nothing but a white t-shirt and, “…holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.”  Okay, so far pretty normal for Scotland, right?  (Hey, my last name’s McDowell, so fuck off.)

The part I don’t get is that they’ve thrown this weirdo on a sex offender’s registry!  This was an intimate moment between a pervert and his bicycle, in private.  He didn’t do this in front of a school or a bike shop.  They even had to use a pass key to get into the room!  This was behind locked doors.  What’s the difference between this and a college girl using a vibrator, except the fact that there’s no video of this on my computer?  None whatsoever.  As more of this sort of thing goes down, the harmless perverts are going to get thrown in with the dangerous predator types until eventually, we’re all convicted of sex crimes.  One of the ways the Soviet Union kept people in line was to make so many bullshit laws that everybody was guilty of something, without even trying.  Now the supposedly free world is going the same way.  We have to reverse this trend before it’s too late.  We need to get a few hundred test cases into the U.S. Supreme Court.

So go fuck a bike.

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